In my past life, I use to associate sadness with loneliness. Being alone meant that you felt unwanted, unloved, or lost. When I am alone, I used to tend to focus on thoughts, feelings, and emotions that weren’t prevalent when I was in the company of others- it was easy for me to practice stop thought or simply talk someones ear off until the ugly thoughts left my prefrontal cortex.
I fucking hated being alone, I hated understanding myself because this meant that my flaws had to be confronted. The saying, “no one knows what one goes through behind close doors,” that shit is real. Behind close doors is when I felt that I could be my true authentic-self and not in a positive way. Behind close doors is where the anger, emptiness, sadness, depression, and melancholy originated and where it arose.
“Sometimes you need to disconnect and enjoy your own company.” -Growth
A idle-mind was always my worst enemy as a whole. As I am learning how to take shit for what it is, and alleviate things, processes, and incidents that I cannot control- I see the importance and NECESSITY of being alone. When I stopped looking at my emotions and feelings as fact, and started looking at it from a different perspective; I appreciated how much I’ve grown.
What I learned was that if I could not be alone in a positive way AND negative way, I was never going to be independent, I was never going to truly love with myself, I was never going to attract the love that I wanted, and I was always going to see things in a shallow form.
Being alone is when you can recuperate, re-focus, and re-align your body with your heart. It baffles me when people tell me that they cannot do anything alone, if I cannot go to a movie or a bar alone because I depend on someone to keep me afloat, how will I truly grow into the courageous, phenomenal, dope female that I am? How does this happen when I constantly have to depend on others for my happiness?
I love being alone. I am okay with being alone to protect my energy when my feelings, emotions, and thoughts are in jeopardy. I mean… we did come into this world alone right?
#bealonesometimes #itisneccessary #itisneeded #channelyourthoughts #meditateonthatshit