Five Reasons I Fear Having Kids

While most teens grew up with the dream of getting married, having a white picket fence, and having tons of babies- I was the teen who wanted to just get out of my parents home, go to college, travel, and live my best life. Fortunately, I have been able to do all of the above with the exception of paying my own bills as I did not dream of that happening.

My number one rule for dating back then was that the man could absolutely have no kids- I mean, the thought of having my own children terrified me, so I most definitely was not going to be the step-mom that all kids hated. I understand that the ability to even have children is a blessing and watching them grow and succeed is an even bigger blessing than one can imagine. I, however, do not view kids as such.

My Five Reasons

1. Birth: When I think of birth, I think of death. How on earth will I survive child birth? I have a very low tolerance for pain, I mean have you ever hit your toe on the side of the bed? That’s death!

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2. Their inability to talk: It scares me to know that when something is wrong with my future child, all they will do is cry. As a result, I am going to cry right along with them. I mean, what do I do when my child is screaming and cannot tell me that something is wrong? What if their dying? Will it be too late?

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3. My inability to relate: I am a very boring aunt to my nieces and nephews because I simply cannot relate to kids. I cannot talk baby talk, I cannot talk kid talk, and quite honestly, I do not want to engage in conversations with children. My conversations stop at, “she/he is adorable.” (walks away) or “how’s school?” (waits for answer, then walks away). See, I small talk kids and parents alike.

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4. Keeping up with the Kardashians, Teen Moms on MTV, and Killer Kids on A&E: Obviously, I am older than these reality shows but the times that I have indulged my natch to reality TV, I noticed how these shows can be three transitions for children in life.

I fear the “Kardashian” type kid because they are able to speak to their mother in any way they see fit. Often times, telling her to “just shut the fuck” up. This scares me because we live in a day and time where children are allowed to speak to their parents disrespectfully, and not only that, it is becoming a trend!

I fear the “teen mom” type kid because how do I prevent my child from having a child when they are still a child? I do not want to be in my sixties taking care of their child because they are still a child who cannot take care of their own child. You see?! The shits scary.

I fear the “killer kid” type- these kids are just killing their parents because its Tuesday. Legit, slaughtering their parents because they have to do chores, or do their homework, or stay in on a Friday night. In a nutshell, parents are killed for BEING PARENTS.

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5. Daycare: I fear having to enroll my infant in daycare where I am unable to monitor or see them for 8-hours in a day. Keeping my infant child around strangers, the FLU, and the possibility of them crawling out the door because their isn’t enough adequate staff in childcare any longer due to being underpaid- this scares the shit out of me.

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Seriously though…

As funny as my reasons sound for not having children; they are very true. I pray that I develop a nurturing characteristic that will allow me to place my fears to the side and include motherhood in my journey. Until then, please keep your children at home, this is an adult only event.

#kidsareawesome #untiltheyarent #Ifearwhentheyarent

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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