You know when you are day dreaming and you are staring extremely hard at an object without blinking but your mind is focused on something else? Imagine that a thousand times over? Imagine moving around life, driving, cleaning, running, speaking with friends or colleagues but your mind is stuck on fear, frustration, and giving up. Wait, don’t imagine it! That shit sucks!
My worst symptom of health anxiety was being physically present, but mentally dead. It would feel as if I was a character in the FX series “The Walking Dead.” I do not know what the hell is it like to be a crazed, killer zombie- but this has to be it! I would walk around worrying about worrying and I did not know how to snap out of it.
It would be as if I was walking around in a dream, you know, like lucid dreaming? I would read articles on the internet about how people would purposely lucid dream and that shit was insane to me. Who wants to walk around completely unattached from reality? Sure as hell not me.
As I dove deeper into now what seemed like depression, I had to figure out how the hell I was going to get my mind back, my LIFE BACK. Then I had an “ah ha” Oprah moment (hail to the queen!). I forced myself to be in the “present.” This, of course took child-like activities and a hell-of-alot of determination to accomplish.
I began to point out things that I saw, if I was walking down the street, I would pick a color- green for example and I would mentally check everything that was green. If there were cars passing or kids walking down the street or playing in the park, I would explain to myself what they were doing at that moment. It sounds silly! But that shit helped. Believe me, it did not work instantly, but I would find myself doing it everywhere I went until I finally checked back into freaking reality. Also, it was a distraction from my what I was worrying about, which was WORRY!!
“Worrying doesn’t take away tomorrow’s trouble, it takes away today’s peace.” -Someone who does not worry.
My point is, I try my darnest to stay in the PRESENT. When I am at work, conversing with patients, I pick out flaws on their face or how their hair looks, or even focus on the words that come out their pie-holes.
A lot of us who struggle with anxiety or other mental illnesses are so stuck on the past or the future of what happened or what if’s? So, I double-dare you to try and stay in the present, even if it is for only 5-minutes. Sit down or walk, and pick out objects that are currently there or actively moving in the moment and focus on them, focus on the NOW.
I double-triple-dog dare you!! READY. SET. GO!
#staypresent #liveinthemoment #conqueryourmoment